Spring has a way of waking things up, doesn’t it?
The blossoms arrive, the light stretches a little longer into the evenings, and life gently nudges us forward again. It’s the season of beginnings, of weddings being planned, of families gathering and of course, goodbyes too, as we see tulips ‘go over’ but spot the wisteria start to flower… its going on!
So as ceremony planning start to ramp up, somewhere in all of the wedding planning, or the bedside vigil, a question often gets asked:
“Do we really need a celebrant… or can someone just do it?”
Let me answer that for you, with love, honesty, and 14 years of lived experience as both a wedding celebrant in the UK and a funeral celebrant in Surrey who specialises in Ceremonies with emotional intelligence and guiding the right energy at the ceremony.
Because this matters more than people realise.
CG Photography
The “Just Anyone” Myth
I hear it often.
“We thought a friend could just say a few words…”
“My uncle is quite good at public speaking…”
“We’ll just keep it simple, we want a low key ceremony…”
And I completely understand where that comes from.
On the surface, a ceremony can look like Some words, A bit of structure and A moment shared But,actually, the big thing I do is unseen. I gently and firmly hold.
I hold the guests, support them in so many ways and I facilitate a deep transition, but most of all, it’s about being held emotionally so you can be present, entirely, spiritually, and energetically.
There is no such thing as “just” when it comes to a rite of passage.
Not for a wedding.
Not for a funeral.
Not for any moment where life changes shape.
Doriane Photography
What I, as a master celebrant, are Actually Holding
At a recent talk I gave at a university, I asked a room full of students:
“What is a ceremony?”
And after a pause, we landed here:
A ceremony is not ‘just’ an event. (thank goodness they were on the same page as me :-)) It is actually a threshold. It’s where transformation takes place.
It’s the moment where:
-
Two people step from individuals into partnership
-
A family says goodbye and begins grieving rather than being in mourning
-
A name is given
-
A chapter ends
-
A new identity begins
-
And Life with that love changes in one way or another.
It’s in those moments, something deeply human and even spiritual is required. In an era of AI growth, so much now can be done for us quickly and efficiently, I need to remind you that the JOURNEY is something only you can do. It’s where learning and growth comes – and you must give that process TIME. Of course, you can skip it at the time, but believe me when I say – at some point, your heart and soul WILL need a ceremony. Not a performance, not ‘just’ a script, Not “someone who can just do it’ and not even ‘just some time to reflect’ but a time where YOU need to mark whatever it is that has happened, and you need to be present. It’s the art of gathering and ritual.
Zoe Mills Photography
Why a Celebrant Matters (More Than You Think)
When you choose a professional wedding celebrant or funeral celebrant, you are not booking someone to “speak.”
You are choosing someone to hold the emotional weight of the moment, so you don’t have to.
Design a ceremony that reflects you or your loved one or your relationship and love story.
As well as being able Read the room, guide the energy, and carry people through, Even when emotions rise (and they will)
But also turn words into something that captures all that life, love and legacy.
Of course you have all heard the saying “People won’t remember what you say,
But they will remember how it felt” … and what if ‘just someone’ buckles or panics under the pressure, pulls out at the last moment as they were only doing you a favour, or ‘something came up’. ..Or… it turns out they are no good at it! What then? By that point, it’s too late! It could be 18 months to plan a wedding, and about 18 days for a funeral, and you still think it’s a ‘just’ situation, and ‘anyone can do it’?? That’s a lot of pressure for ‘that’ friend of yours….
Kit Myers Photography
Weddings: More Than a Pretty Moment
In the world of celebrant-led weddings in the UK, there is such beautiful freedom. There is an explosion of celebrants and this shows you how powerful and important we realise it all is! A celebrant led ceremony is a ‘winning horse’ scenario, not a ‘sinking ship’. Every ceremony I have ever done, someone has come up to me and said ‘I’d love to do what you do, I think I’d be good at it’. We are lit up by a good ceremony – regardless of the reason. But here are some!
You can:
- Choose your ceremony location
- Write your own vows
- Include culture, faith, family, humour
- Create something entirely your own
- Embrace our country’s freedom of speech and religion
- Be your own creative director!
But, with that freedom comes a question:
Who is going to hold it all together?
Because without guidance, it can quickly become Disjointed, Awkward Or lacking the depth it truly deserves. Or, it can be dull and blimin’ boring – and nobody wants that! Worst of all -unpredictable because that ‘just someone else’ now has the floor and you are not in control in any way!
A celebrant doesn’t just “lead” your wedding. I anchor it, all of it. The energy, your story, your values, your quirks, and your guest focus. I, and all good celebrants, craft a ceremony that feels like you are part of something real yet magically wonderful.
Megan Donati Photography
Funerals: Where It Matters Most
And if I’m honest, as I always am, this is where the word “just” breaks my heart a little, because when someone dies, families are often overwhelmed, grieving, and exhausted.
And still, they’ll say:
“We’ll just have someone say a few words…”
(well, to be fair, my clients, couple and families, never say this, but I hear it all the time)
A meaningful funeral ceremony is not about filling time. It is about so much more than that I can hardly capture it on a blog!
It’s about
- Honouring a life fully lived
- Giving space for grief
- Creating a moment that helps people begin to process loss
- And partake in a very important ritual to bear witness to a life, and to support those left.
This is not something people get a second chance at and my mission and vision in my celebrancy work is to reduce trauma and bring more joy.
This is where a funeral celebrant becomes not just helpful… but, in my eyes, truly essential.
Alex Orrow Photography
The Human Thread, and why I even did a lecture on it.
Whether it’s a wedding or a funeral, the thread is the same:
We are spiritual beings. Human-beings who need:
- Ritual – so that we can SEE This mattered to us
- Witnessing life’s stories – so that we can share the impact of that life.
- Meaning – because it where we can place This love, this life, this person
- Connection – which we missed so terribly in the pandemic, and caused no end of mental health problems.
Ritual and ceremony is, genuinely, I believe, needed for good mental health and happiness.
And that doesn’t come from “just anyone.”
It comes from someone who understands how to hold space, shape a story, and guide emotion with care.
Alex Orrow Photography
So… Is a Celebrant Necessary?
Let us say ‘No’ for a moment.. .
No, not if you’re happy with something functional.
Not if you’re comfortable with “good enough.”
But if you want, Depth, Meaning, Connection, A moment that truly reflects your life, your love, your person and you want your ceremony to be theone that lights people up and has its very own legacy,
Then the answer becomes very different!
A little Nudge
If you are planning a wedding, or facing a farewell, or even just beginning to think about what these moments might look like for you…
Pause.
Ask yourself:
“Do I want this to be something we ‘just get through’…or something we truly experience which shapes our love moving forward?’
Work With Me, if this resonated
As a celebrant and celebrant mentor based in Surrey, I work with couples and families and mentoring celebrants across the UK to create:
- Personalised wedding ceremonies
- Meaningful, life-affirming funerals
- And spaces where people feel seen, held, and understood
If you’re curious, or ready to begin that conversation, you’re always welcome to reach out.
No pressure. Just a place to start.
Final Thought
There is no such thing as “just” when it comes to the moments that shape your life.
If I can ask you one thing, please don’t ‘should’ or ‘just’ on yourself. You are incredible, WE as beings, are incredible! We just went to the moon and back for goddess sake!
Those moments deserve to be held with care, don’t you think?
