How to move from Wedding Choice overwhelm to design decisions

by | Jun 28, 2023 | Weddings, Your Ceremony

I will never underestimate the privilege of choice and the freedom we have here,  AND the fact that it’s all at our fingertips. Apathy is a dangerous thing. This is how awful it was back in 2020 when our freedom to choose became about basic survival. Now, a few years on, we are back in full flow with every choice of anything your heart, your imagination and budget desires! 

The first and most important decision to make is whether to say ‘YES’ to the choice your partner has made.  They choose you, and you have chosen them, but now, the proposal changes it from a choice to a decision.  You have both decided that they /you are the ONE. 

It’s here that we start.  You have decided it’s a YES.  So now, HOW you show up to share that decision in a wedding?  It is now possibly anything from a 3-month to a 2 or even 3 or 4 year journey full of choices! HOW do you decide on the choices?

The ONE. Why are they the one?  What is it about this relationship that you are in, that you have decided that this is the one you will keep to?  The one you want to stay in? The one no one else will do? In order to find that out, and the reasons behind your decision, you will need to talk about it!

It doesn’t need to be mushy, or woo-woo – though by all means, go for it. But it does need to be true, sincere.  It might be harsh at times, as you will need to decide what kind of spouse you want to be, and what you expect them to be. You will need to be clear on what choices will result in decisions. 

What do I mean by that?  Well, if joy and laughter are a fundamental ‘must have’ in marriage, then we want your wedding ceremony and day as a whole to also be joyful and full of laughter don’t we? So, start exploring how to get the right energy, and how you can be all ‘entertained’.  

 If family connection and friendship is a must, then you need to decide what connection looks and feels like to you – does it have to be in person?  Is the virtual kind okay as they are always with you in spirit? 

Does a letter or a reading or a reader count?  Is it actually words rather than physical presence?  – in which case, live streaming the ceremony as well as a videographer might be a stronger value and therefore that a decision on how your wedding budget is designated. Or if it’s words, then maybe you need to decide that the stationary, the words, and the script are actually where it’s at, and the VOWS are the absolute heart of day and the foundations of your relationship.  

Energy is the baseline to it all. Of course, we probably want a balance of it all.  I absolutely would want it all at my wedding!  But I understand and know that there are some things that are non-negotiable for me.  Music was one of them. For me, that’s where the energy comes from. 

For you –  Where does the energy come from?  The words, the music, the company, the food, the dancing?  Perhaps all of it. If so, then actually the design of the whole day is where you need to focus your decisions.  The pace. The variety.  The energy over those 10 or so hours!  

We all want to live a life by our own design, embracing our own choices, and making decisions of what’s important to us and how we live, work, play, party and get married!   

So decide HOW you want that energy to feel and then look into all the choices you have from the wedding professionals that will help make that happen for you. I’m absolutely here for it all and will provide the scaffolding for that vision.  You don’t need to fret HOW we as wedding pro’s make that happen, but enjoy having a team around you to create and bring to life the decisions you make about your marriage, and how your wedding becomes the best from cover to your story! 

Helen Noble

Celebrant of Surrey

[email protected]

07787 530720

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