Ah, May—when the bluebells bloom, the air smells of possibility, and inboxes fill with one of the most common questions I get from couples:
“Helen, what’s the difference between a celebrant and a registrar? And which should we choose?”
If you’re wondering the same, you’re not alone. And I promise, there’s no “one-size-fits-all” answer—but there is the right answer for you.
So let’s take a gentle stroll through the differences, so you can feel empowered to choose the ceremony that reflects your love, your values, and your vision for the future.
So… What Is the Difference? (ENGLAND + WALES)
A registrar is a government official who handles the legal registration of your marriage. Their ceremonies are usually short, legally standardised, and must take place in licensed venues. You choose from a set menu of words and readings—and there’s no room for religious or spiritual content.
A celebrant, like me, is your personal storyteller, your wedding producer, and your ceremony guide. I don’t handle the legal paperwork—but I do craft a bespoke ceremony that honours your story, your culture, your quirks, your love—and can be held anywhere that feels meaningful to you. A woodland glade? Your Grandparents garden? A beautiful orangery or Glass house? Absolutely yes.
Let’s Talk About Venues and “Encouragement”
Now, here’s something most couples aren’t told: some venues actively encourage you to book the registrar to come to the venue. Why? Because they believe it helps guarantee the booking for them—particularly when it’s for both ceremony and reception.
But what you may not hear is this: you are absolutely allowed to separate the legal marriage from the wedding. You can separate them by an hour, a day, a week, a month…you get the picture.
You can pop to the registry office to do the legal marriage contract. The ‘declaration of marriage’ and the signing of the register with just yourselves and a witness each. You don’t need to do the rings, or readings, or anything. 2 sentences, 2 witnesses, 12 minutes less than £100 each and you’re married. You can then save the magic, the meaning, and the memories for your celebrant-led wedding ceremony. The venue still gets your booking, and you get the ceremony your soul truly wants.
“Can We Still Be Legally Married?”
If not using a church, but the council registry office, you will need to serve your notices. They can give you up to 2 years if they are doing the ‘full wedding’ or you can book 3 months or even 28 days. No less than 28 days though. Then you’ll simply register the marriage at your local office with, as I said in the paragraph about, your witnesses —often the day before, or even the morning of the celebration. That way, your big moment with friends and family can be crafted from love and truth, not legal checkboxes. Most couples say they barely remember the legal bit—but the celebrant ceremony? Unforgettable.
“We’re Not Religious. We’re Not Totally Traditional. Is a Celebrant Right for Us?”
Oh my lovelies, yes. My ceremonies can be secular but soulful, crafted with your unique relationship at the centre. Whether you’re blending cultures, including children, honouring identity, or simply want to feel seen and celebrated, celebrant-led ceremonies give you that freedom. I am an independent celebrant, rather than a humanist, so I also make space for faith and spirituality. Read on!
Space for Faith, Without the Formality
For me, as an independent celebrant, I make space for faith and spirituality. Many of my couples aren’t “practising” in a religious sense, but they still carry the influence of their upbringing—be it Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Pagan, Bahi, or might want a Sofreh Aghd and have simply spiritual in essence, or perhaps use a Chuppa but not have a Rabbi lead – but they are always welcome to say a blessing . I’m all for sharing! (Something you don’t get with anyone other than an Independent Celebrant)
Together, we can include sacred touches that honour your heritage without making the ceremony feel restrictive. A reading, a blessing, a moment of silence or a candle lighting—whatever brings comfort and meaning. Your roots matter. So does your autonomy.
Your Story, Your Way
Unlike a registrar, who reads a script they’ve read a thousand times and is the same country wide, I write your ceremony just once—for you. We’ll include your vows, your story, your voice. Whether you want to laugh, cry, remember a loved one, or share a favourite poem or ritual, everything is lovingly chosen.
I also support you through the entire process—from the first idea to the last deep breath before you walk down the aisle. We’ll rehearse, we’ll plan, we’ll make it magical.
The Joy of Freedom
One of the best parts of a celebrant-led ceremony is the freedom—in tone, location, timing, and feeling.
You can get married in the woods at dawn, on a hill at sunset, or in your grandparents’ garden under bunting and blossom. You can have a dog as your ring-bearer, or a handfasting with ribbons from loved ones. Nothing needs to be sterile or stiff.
And because I’ve trained in sensory awareness, accessible ceremony design – such as a touch tour, emotional intelligence, and energy, I also make space for everyone—whether you’re navigating grief, anxiety, neurodiversity, or just need a gentler, more meaningful pace.
“Is It Worth It?”
Oh yes. What you’re investing in is meaning.
This isn’t about a 30-minute time slot. It’s about the moment you look into each other’s eyes and feel truly held, witnessed, celebrated, and transformed.
Guests always tell me afterwards:
“That was the most personal and beautiful ceremony I’ve ever seen.” And that’s because it was written from the heart—with care, connection, and craft.
Final Thoughts…
Choosing between a celebrant and a registrar isn’t just a logistical choice. It’s a soul choice.
If you want your wedding to feel like a true reflection of you both—your history, your hopes, your heart—then I’d be honoured to help you craft it. Let’s co-create a ceremony that celebrates your love, your values, and the joy of your journey.
Because love isn’t generic. And your ceremony shouldn’t be either.
With warmth and wonder,
Helen x
Celebrant of Surrey
